Tonight is not like every other night. I find myself drawn to old familar haunts. Finding myself driving to old familar stomping grounds. I find that on nights like these, I am looking for something. Peace of mind. To quiet the roar of white noise that drives me out to the waters. To the beach where I can look out over the water and picture myself somewhere far. Yet I stay on shore. Bound to the land that keeps me firm to reality. To the here and now.
I wax meloncoly as easily as silk scarves drape over arms, as easily as night falls lightly over the horizon.
Tonight is not like every other night. I am looking out over the water and over the beach and remembering when my daughter was nine, was ten, was eleven. Before everything changed. Before adolscence took over. Before everything changed. I miss that child. But I will willing to let go and let life begin. To move forward and to accept change. This is what parents do. Let go of these bittersweet moments of childhood and let go.
In the end the only thing that matters is acceptance and letting go.