The house is quiet. Calm and serenely quiet. This is the results of children who leave home.
This is a house that is no longer in a state of manic panic or some emotional meltdown. The turmoil of teenage angst. Don’t get me wrong, there were a lot of great times with my kid too. I wouldn’t have this any other way. For me, the path of parenting was littered with distractions that I had to either toss or keep. This is what happens to parents. You inherit old habits from your parents and upbringing. You learn to take what you need with what you got.
This is what I took away from parenting.
Parenting is not a solo practice. You never parent in a silo. You have friends and family along side you. Whether you want it or not. You can not shut out the outside influence and the world. You learn to adopt practices to help.
For me, it was the practice of daily meditation and focus back into myself. Working in the backyard garden. Planting the seeds and letting nature do it’s thing. I guess that is the same thing that happens with children.
Plant the seeds of hope, give them the tools to being a conscious human being and letting nature do it’s thing. I’m not saying that there were a great number of interventions, strict rules and tempers lost in the raising of my child but I’m starting to feel like my old self again. The self that I put on hold before I had kids. Before any of ‘this’ happened.
These days, the house is filled once again with other drama. Step children, in-laws, not working a steady job. The constant movement of other people’s drama. I tidy and organize the house back to the expected state of calm and I take time out for myself. You need to. A person can not thrive on chaos all the time.
So I light the candle. Light and burn incense. Breathe through the chaos and let it go. I also have learned to set clear boundaries and be honest with my needs. Does this make me selfish? No, I tell myself. These are important steps to self care. One can not work on the help of others when you are drained of all energy, as my meditation teacher once told me. I practice this thought daily.
This is what I have learned from raising my daughter to adulthood.
- It is the hardest job you will ever undertake.
- I will always be a parent regardless of how old she is.
- In raising her, I also learned the strength comes within and the hardest part of parenting is letting go.
- You must practice loving yourself.
This practice bleeds into other parts of my life. And for me, the only way for me is to stop. Breathe. Meditate.
Work. Life. Play. These are things that revolve around my life. When you incorporate these into life, it makes perfect sense. Do what you can with what you have.
For now, I’m going to go ride my bike and maybe drink coffee. Oh and maybe listen to Daft Punk really loud on my portable stereo.
Ride on, my friends.