I had dinner with my daughter tonight. She tells me that things in her 20s are not easy and ask was it easy for me? I think for a second second and tell her this.
My 20s were different than her 20s. I wasn’t as driven and committed to pursuing music and art like she is currently doing. I wasn’t passionate about me as a person. I told her that yes, I was writing and performing as a poet and seeking a name for myself as an up and coming performance poet but I walked away from it because I was 20 and had no real committment to myself.
Commitment to myself. I like to reflect that my 20s were a confusing time and to be honest, I wouldn’t want to go through that hell again.
I told her that my 30s were more me. That’s when she entered the scene. She was born when I turned 30. My life changed dramatically. Both physically and emotionally/spiritually. The Mother had been awoken and everything became crystal clear to me. What I had to do. What I had to become. To support this tiny being that I birthed and to support myself. I knew the person who fathered my child was going to lead me down to a path of sadness and despair. I did not want my daughter to follow down that path, so I walked away from that marriage. Closed the door on that chapter and started my life as a single mom.
What I am referring to as the Mother had been awoken is the Jungian archtype Triple Goddess. The Maiden. The Mother. The Chrone. C.G. Jung describes archetypes as concepts or ideas we all share and that we can all recognise. These concepts or ideas are inherited and shared among all human beings. The meaning held by archetypes is often unconscious and can be hard to put into words. This concept was also written in a book by Junian psychologist Jean Shinoda Bolen The Goddess in Every Woman.
In her book, she writes of the 12 goddesses and the behavior pattern and personalities that these goddesses represent with us as mortals. Each one of us can evoke the personality of the goddess by a significant event in our life that changes us or by emotionally, spiritually changing/bringing that goddess personality into us.
Little did I know that I was like many young girls at that age. Persephone. Aimlessly wandering from one relationship to another in hopes of finding my true self. Not understanding that the strength and personality was always hidden underneath the surface. The mighty Triple Goddess was waiting to be awoken. When my daughter was born, this triggered the event that spurned me into “Mother”. Taking care of business so me and my child could not only survive for flourish.
I have referred to the Triple Goddess many times. In many poems as well as taking on the profile name as 3maiden as my primary email account and blog. It has become my calling card. I still write and reference my dreams to get deeper understanding of what is going on with me.
Continously searching for answers. For connections and patterns. And there are times when I am content to let things just be. As they are. In the moment. Tending to my hearth. My home. My plants. My cat by my side. Until the next adventure calls me forth and I’m itching to take down my bike and ride out.
My daughter. Well, she is in her 20s and learning about who she is. Who she is becoming. What goddess will be evoked for her? Maybe it will be a combination of many different? Eager to see what her adventures will be.
As we departed for the evening. She tells me that she’s still figuring things out. “I’ll figure out what I’m doing someday but probrably not aha that’s what keeps life interesting”. I think she’s on the right path. Path that is just hers.
She also tells me she appreciates me telling her what I told her about my 20s. That music and art are the things that make her happy and she’s grateful for having that opportunity to pursue it.
That’s all a parent can really ask for, right? The acknowledgement and insight from your child that she’s grateful for having the opportunity to pursue the things they are passionate about.