I am using my dreams as gateways into my subconscious. More and more, I am beginning to understand what impact it has on my conscious self. Further insight into the meaning and subtle nuances that take place in my dream becomes very apparent.
Last night I dream that I am being evaluated for my work as a consultant. It determines where I will go for my next project. I am tested on my Korean language skills and I am not understanding what the questions that I am being asked are. I do poorly and it is determined that I would be slated to work in Belgium instead.
What is weird about the dream is that my colleagues understand the questions that are being asked. I don’t understand why I failed in my evaluation.
I wake up with a sense of anxiety of what is about to happen in my real conscious life. I carefully back track all the conversations between my dream interviewer and myself. It is like peeling an onion. Layers of self conscious dreaming melting away. I am trying to understand the message that is being told to me. Understand why I am anxious.
I often feel that my dream life and my real life will meet in the middle and I will have a conscious awakening. My conscious life slowly unraveling what my dream life is doing and vice versa. I often feel like I don’t know who I really am. Have I been living a false life all this time and my dream life will resurrect itself. What will the final metamorphoses be.
Who will this new Lisa emerge as?
I am looking for answers in my conscious life and gathering all the data that I can gather. Bits and pieces taken from books, artifacts taken from the internet, images that I capture during my daily travels. I am cataloging them in an attempt that my final analysis will help guide me.
All I can do is breathe and focus. Focus on the daily tasks that I do on a conscious level. Breathe in the knowledge, breathe out my dreams.